the process of realizing a drinking problem, part 1.

It’s crazy how long I went without realizing that I had any problem with drinking. Whenever I thought of an “alcoholic”, I thought of someone homeless, who burnt all bridges with everyone in their life, and walking around with a 40 in a brown paper bag. Such a misconception…and also pretty rude that I thought that way.

I didn’t have a problem, I graduated college with a high GPA and got my bachelor’s degree. I didn’t have a problem, I had great relationships with my friends and family. I didn’t have a problem, I had a great job and was very successful. I didn’t have a problem, I paid all of my bills on time and never missed a payment. I didn’t have a problem, I never got into any legal trouble. I didn’t have a problem!! You’re supposed to experiment with alcohol in high school. You’re supposed to party hard in college, those are the best years of your life! You’re supposed to go to happy hour after work, it’s what adults do!

Let me ask you what your first thoughts are when I play this out…

I took care of my responsibilities and went to work all day, and after work I would go to the bar for hours on hours. Or if I was feeling like an introvert that day, I would stop at the store on the way home and get wine…ahhh, my Chardonnay.

I would drink from the time I got off work until the time I went to bed, but I still went to bed at a decent hour to still get my 8 hours of sleep in before work the next day.

I would go home and drink bottle after bottle of wine by myself, but I was just winding down and relaxing. Having a good time and enjoying my own company. I mean, that’s what people tell you, that you should be able to enjoy your own company.

I would go out to the bar by myself, but I was in a new city where I didn’t know anyone so I had to meet people somehow. Who cares if drinking gave me the liquid courage I needed to get out of my shell? At least I was getting out of it.

I worked hard all week long so when the weekend came, I deserved to relax and enjoy the time I didn’t have to worry about things. I didn’t have work that day, so why not start my mornings with mimosas?

When I went to the store, I got multiple bottles of champagne, wine, whatever it may have been. But I only did that because I was being smart so that when/if I wanted more later that day, I wouldn’t have to go back out to the store and risk a DUI or DWI.

If I ever drank beer, I would drink Miller Lites because those are practically water. And that was the smart decision because then when I was drinking all day, I wouldn’t get too drunk too fast.

I found a bar that I loved that was close to where I live and only two turns away from my apartment. That was a logical decision because then when I was done at the bar, I didn’t have to drive far to get home.

It’s football season, it the time to drink.

It’s St. Patty’s day, it’s the time to drink some green beer and whiskey.

It’s Cinco de Mayo, it’s the time to drink Corona and tequila.

It’s Christmas! It’s the holidays! It’s time to drink eggnog and cocktails.

It’s New Year’s Eve, it’s the time to drink champagne and have a good time.

There can be an excuse for literally EVERYTHING. I worked hard, I accomplished something, it’s sports season, it’s happy hour, it’s holiday season, it’s brunch, etc.

I’m not doing anything wrong.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s